I Always Feel Like Someone is Watching Me

Have you all seen those Geico commercials where the wad of cash is following poor unsuspecting people around, almost stalking. Well, that is kind of happening to me right now. Eileen is going through a weird episode right now. She follows me around the house. If I get up from the computer and she is playing in the t.v room, she gets up too and follows me. She follows me from the kitchen to the laundry area. She follows me into the garage. No toy or cartoon can keep her attention enough from following me. I turn around and she is there. I have tripped over her a few times. The worst part is when she doesn't know where I am, she starts crying and yelling..."Mom...MOOOM!" I am starting to get worried. I try to tell her where I am going but even when I do she still follows me there. I try to acknowledge her fear and talk her through it.
This all started when I went to Baltimore for a week last month. Rich was home alone with and was complaining that Eileen was always at his side. I thought he was exaggerating but now it is happening to me. I think Eileen is afraid I am going to leave again. Just needed to get it out!

Warning: Random Post to Follow

I do not like to eat meat off the bone. I hate the feeling of grease, BBQ sauce etc. being rubbed all over my face as I gnaw like an animal for a little piece of meat. Now I like a barbeque as much as anyone. I like grilled burgers, hotdogs and chicken but please give me a fork and knife for the chicken.

This all started back in college when and friend and I went to an Arizona Cardinals game. This was my first and up to now only Cardinals game. We were enjoying our refreshing cold beer, hotdogs and cheering on our home team when I happened to turn around. Behind me was a man, cave man like as I recall. He had scraggly long salt and pepper hair dangling in his face and wore a tight white t-shirt over his gut. Just at the time I turned around I saw him eat from his turkey leg. I think it was turkey. It was a type of bird, I know that for sure. He gnawed on that thing like a tiger devouring its prey. It was so National Geographic. All the while grease was all over his face and dribbling down to his shirt. It was horrific! So, ever since that eventful day, I have been unable to eat meat with my mouth off of a bone. I have terrible flashbacks of the Arizona Cardinals game and the caveman.

So I heard that Gary Coleman, Arnold from Different Strokes, died. I remember I used to watch that show. I liked it. I liked the "What choo talkin about Willis?" line. It was funny. His passing is sad especially when you know about all the trouble he had after the show with his family, finances, health and staying out of trouble.
It is bothersome to me that within the past year so many entertainers from my childhood have passed away. Farrah Fawcett, John Hughes, Corey Haim, Michael Jackson. Each one of these people were part of my life growing up. Farrah Fawcett... I loved watching re-runs of Charlie's Angel. It was great to see beautiful, smart and tough women on t.v. John Hughes... His movies defined my adolescence. I still absolutely love 16 Candles and The Breakfast Club and Vacation is quite possibly one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. Corey Haim... I wasn't into the Coreys. I think I was a bit too old when they made it big. But, I did like The Lost Boys. Nonetheless his passing was sad. Michael Jackson... during the 80's I liked his music but I appreciate it more now than I did then. I was too busy wearing black and listening to Depeche Mode and The Cure to realize how good his music really was. He's another one whose life was filled with trouble and controversary.
All of this is disturbing me. They were part of my life growing up... they were too young to die. I feel that with their passing so soon... I have loss some of my youth. What a shame that such talented people were taken so soon.

Lost in translation or just plan naive????

So, I am at Jazzercise the other day doing a routine to a remixed version of Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Relax" and I started day dreaming again. I thought of how dang naive I was growing up. My parents avoided any talk that could be uncomfortable, drugs, sex, etc. So as I zoned out I thought about how much I loved this song growing and how I liked it when I was able to "relax" too! Only years later did I learn what it was about. Uh! Those dang British! Then some other meanings childhood favorite songs came to mind. "She Bop"..... I thought Cindy was singing about how everyone likes to dance, like me. I'd get down to this song. I'd sing it out loud, dance around. Well the joke was on me! I was wrong. Girls DO want to have fun! ;) "Physical"... How could you Olivia? You were my idol. I loved you in Grease and Xanadu! You hung on my wall! But, you weren't singing about the working out I was thinking of. So, finally the song was near the end when our wonderful instructor, originally from Germany, said, " Don't we all need to Relax sometimes. Like in this song." "Yes!", I thought. "I am not the only green, naive person out there!" But to her credit, English is her 2nd language, so some things get lost in translation!

OK, so I am going crazy!! Just when I think I am done with the laundry... there is more! I am so tired of gathering,sorting, washing, hanging to dry, machine drying, folding, sorting again, hanging and putting clothes away!
Just one more thing, I am tired of doing dishes too! Pre cleaning, machine washing, hand washing, drying, putting them away... It's amazing!
Feeling better now that I released it on my blog or maybe I feel better because I got to sit for 5 minutes. Better go and clean up dinner dishes.... Yikes!

Basket Envy and other Easter antedotes

When I was growing up, my cousins Rusty and Steven would come to visit us for Easter weekend. Oh how I loved it when Steven would come. We always played together and occasionally got into some mischief. The stories I could tell.. As far as Rusty, I was never crazy about him growing up. He was an Eddie Haskell type of boy... real nice and well-mannered when adults were around but a pure nightmare when adults turned their backs. Rusty even looked like you stereotypical pain in the a** kid, red hair, thus the name Rusty, and freckles. Let me assure before we go on that Rusty has since grown out of his childish ways and is now a great man.

So as every child does on Easter Eve all of us (myself, sister, brother, Rusty and Steven) would leave our baskets out for the bunny to fill. The next morning would bring a jealousy like no other. My brother, sister and I would have our meager baskets filled with some chocolate goodies, jelly beans, maybe some socks and undies. One time I even received a Shawn Cassidy iron t-shirt from the Bunny. Let me note that what I am referring to as meager was sufficient for an Easter Basket then and now but all is relative. Rusty on the other hand received an Easter basket overflowing with goodies. Steven's basket was pretty big too but I still recall Rusty's taking the top honors. His was your dream basket, every kid would have envied it. As I'd look at Rusty's basket and that smug look on his face I couldn't help but think... how does he get more stuff than I do? He is naughty. Isn't there a naughty and nice list with the Easter Bunny too? Perhaps the worst part of Rusty's Easter Basket is that he would take the contents out one by one making sure to display it for my brother, sister and I to see. Chocolate bunny, Fun Dip, Jawbreakers, Sweettarts... You name it and it was in his basket. It was horrible and the agony of seeing ALL his candy and treats seemed to last forever. We used to resent my mother, the Bunny, for not giving as much as my Aunt did. But, ow that I am older, I understand that my mother was trying to control our sugar intake and teach to be happy with what we did receive.

After the baskets, all the kids would participate in the Annual Easter Egg hunt. Like other egg hunts, ours had a special golden egg with a cash prize and various colors of plastic egss filled with goodies. One difference though, my mother and Aunt took special care in hiding the golden egg. The two of them would head out into the yard sporting gardening gloves. They would hide the plastic eggs in plain sight but the coveted golden egg was in a special, hard to find/retrieve hiding place. This is where the gloves came in. The golden egg would be in a mud puddle (sloppy and wet), mixed in an ant hill (poor ants were disturbed not once but twice), tucked deep into a holly bush (just far enough to ensure that whoever found the golden egg had to work hard to get it and would get poked in the process),etc. I can't remember all of the places, they say that you soemtimes block out traumatic events in your life. ;)Anyways, it became a challenge for my Aunt and mother to find new and some what painful/gross places to hide the golden eggs. Some other possibilities for the golden egg hiding place I am sure were to: attach it to a homemade ticking time bomb, place it inside radioactive waste, tie it to a bucking bull's horns, set it in the middle of a raging oil fire, place it inside a killer bee's hive, etc. Although their hiding places were a bit demented and as a result of some alcohol, we all survived and have fond memories of our egg hunts.

I am hoping to make some great Easter memories for my girls. We like to dye eggs, look for hidden eggs(in safe places), eat a wonderful family dinner and wear special spring dresses. Each year brings more memories of Egg hunts where the eggs were found and place in the basket by mom to scurring around the yard to find the most. From cracking more eggs than dyeing to loving to dye eggs and being creative to then dreading it. What about you? What are some of your most memorable Easter moments. Happy Easter everyone.

Winnie the Poo?

So, yesterday morning I was making breakfast as usual. Pancakes, my girls favorites. While I was mixing I could hear the My Friends Tigger and Pooh theme song and abunch of groans from my girls. "My friends Tigger and Pooh..." "Groan"... I decided I better go in the living room to see what was going on. Sarah proceeded to ask me "Why is he named Poo? Poo is a horrible name." Sarah learned horrible from her big sister. That was the reason for the groaning. Too funny. Sarah does have a point though. Pooh is a terrible name for a bear or is it a type of bear? And who's ever heard of a Pooh bear? I have heard of brown, grizzly, polar but no Pooh bear. Anyways, I found this to be quite funny and typical in our house hold where every natural body function is either talked about, giggled at, produced naturally or reproduced artifically. This little ditty of a story once again confirms to me how wonderful my girls are. And funny too!

Memory Monday- Moving Out West

When my father told us we were moving to Phoenix the whole family was shocked. My mind was racing... what is there? cactus? dirt? cowboys? tumbleweed? Let's just say I was less than thrilled to hear the news. So the months leading up to the move were filled with goodbyes, parties, pictures, mixed tapes, etc. Finally the day arrives.. friends and family are there to see us off to the "wild, wild, west" and our family dog starts acting strange. She can barely stand much less walk and is unresponsive. I think she senses something big is about to happen. So here we are putting the last few items in the cars and having to decide what to do with our dog Daisy. Can our beloved dog for over 11 years make the trip out west? The decision was made to put her to sleep. So with even more sadness and tears we headed out west.

The only thing I remember about the trip was that I sulked the whole LONG car ride. I kept playing "No One is to Blame" by Howard Jones on my Walkman. This was 1986. Play, Rewind, Play, repeat. Finally we arrived at our new home. Our house was a creamish stuccoish house with rocks and a giant saguaro cactus as landscaping. You must remember we just left Louisiana. Trees, grass, lush... This was a nightmare! My mother burst into tears. My father a little anxious and tired with a tinge of anger said, "Don't unpack! Let's turn around and go back." Of course we stayed and the rest they say is history.

Memory Mondays

I am going to start a new weekly topic called "Memory Mondays". During these blogs I will share my experiences that have made an impact in my life. Things that have happened that I will never forget whether it be good, bad, funny or ugly. I hope you enjoy my weekly (hopefully) jaunt down memory lane!

"Pat and Bill"

I started my path towards childhood deliquency when I was 6 and in 1st grade. One day my wonderful first grade teacher, Mrs. Birdsong sent me home with a note for my parents to read and sign. Let me digress for a moment... is Mrs. Birdsong not the best name for an elementary school teacher? I have visions of Snow White prancing in the forest with "bluebirds on her shoulder" and Bambi and Thumper at her heels. She was a great teacher. I remember her having a "Reading Loft" in her room. If you were good, finished your work you could climb up to the loft.

Ok, back to the letter home. I knew the letter was an account of my not so good day. Right now I can not remember what I did to deserve a letter home. It probably had something to do with talking to much, not listening or completing my work. I was never too bad of a kid so I know it wasn't something crazy like hitting or throwing a chair. I knew that I could NOT show my parents the note... I'd be sent to my room or grounded from something. So in my best 1st grade manuscript handwriting I signed the note for my parents. "Pat and Bill" is what I wrote. I thought for sure this would work.

The next day I handed the note to Mrs. Birdsong. She was smart.;) She knew I had signed it. Needless to say, I got in more trouble when Mrs. Birdsong phoned my parents that afternoon.

A funny aside to this is, I tired to sign my parents names for something else, but this time I was smarter and made squiggly lines like cursive. I was caught again. I gave up after that.

Weary Wednesday

Why do I feel so guilty when I don't give to a solicitor? OK! I am sitting at a Drive Thru tonight (which is bad in itself) and a lady comes up to my window and asks for money and I decline. I feel terrible and mad at the same time. I think... what if she has a family and just lost her home. It's horrible of you not to help her out. Then I think... Hey, I worked hard to get where I am. I worked to pay for college, worked two jobs after college just to survive, my husband and I sacrificed things so I could stay at home as long as I did, etc. Even as I read this right now I feel like a brat. That's it! Goodnight!

Love of Reading

I went to Eileen's classroom to read a book for "Love of Reading" month. I chose the book "MMM Cookies" by Robert Munsch. Eileen loves this book. She laughs so hard. Her laughter comes from her gut. It makes me smile everytime I hear her laugh. I admit I selfishly chose this book to hear her laugh. I figured the other students would like it too! It's just a funny kid book.
Robert Munsch books are great, silly books. A must for kids in the early elementary grades. It is hard to pick a favorite... For parents of girls there's a great "princess" story called "The Paperbag Princess". Anyways, I could tell Eileen was happy I came. She gave me that shy smirk she gets when she is happy about things. It is amazing how such a simple thing can make somone so happy. Take care!

Let's try this again

Starting out all over again was not that simple. I wanted to think of a great title for my blog. The girl's names? No. The girl's nicknames? We really don't have any other than cutie, sweetheart, teeny, etc. Not too original, Eh? Something witty with our last name? Nothing. Finally after racking my brain for something great, I thought of the wonderful feature that my two girls share... Blue Eyes. Then, I thought of the Elton John song, "Blue Eyes". I like the song. It can be a bit melancholy, such is life at times.

"Blue Eyes... I love blue eyes....
Blue eyes laughing in the sun, laughing in the rain
Baby's got blue eyes.... And I'm home again..."

And there it was.... Blue Eyes Laughing. Although they do more than laughing, crying, singing, playing, whining, creating etc. Anyways, One thing down, more to go. Whew!

Next, I decided to get one of those cute blog backgrounds. That wasn't so bad, but I still can't figure out how to get my header into a cute banner I chose. I have since removed the banner because of this.

Next, the "About Me" part. I am married to a wonderfully, paranoid husband. He informs me to be selective about what I say. So, I try to tell as much "About Me" as I can without really telling about me. Clear as mud.

Next, the first post. What do I say? I have never been a wordsmith or incredibly witty so here it is!

Finally, "Why? am I doing this?" Now that I have gone back to work full-time, I feel that I am losing my connections to my friends and family. All I want to do when I get home from a long day is hang out with the family. I don't feel like talking on the phone or going out knowing that I will want to return home soon because I must rise early the next morning to get the kids and I ready for school and work. In contrast to my hermit behavior, I am generally a social person. I love to hang out with friends and family and talk, share a laugh, eat good food and enjoy a drink. So here's my attempt to do both... keep in touch with friends and family from the comforts of my home. :)